Friday 23 March 2012

Why You have Man Boobs And What To Do About it! (please don't read if easily offended!)


If you're a guy and have man boobs then you seriously need to man the hell up and read this blog before its too late for you! I'm deadly serious aswell!

(Girls you can also forward this onto your male buddies aswell!)

Read this and act NOW before its too late but Im just pre-warning again, please don't read if your easily offended)

So you've been trying to ignore it for a while now but it seems that your man boobs or "bitch tits" are slowly starting to get bigger? At first you ignored it but it seems that you're producing a pair of boobs that your missus and most chicks would be proud of!

But you can't understand it? You eat well, you train hard in the gym, you do extra press ups and bench press but they still seem to be there?

Well, sadly man boobs have nothing to do with a lack of exercise or poor nutrition but more to do with the fact that your male hormone testosterone is getting its assed kicked by the female hormone estrogen!

Yep, you're turning into a chick and soon you'll be having an overwhelming urge to buy shoes and go shopping! You may have also started to have "strange" thoughts about your best friend! How do you feel about that? ;-)

So why is your female hormone dominating your male hormone?

Regular beer drinking will give you man boobs. Your testosterone is being converted into estrogen so the more you drink the higher your estrogen levels will be.
The hops in beer are amazingly estrogenic aswell so regular drinking will have a womanizing effect.

Still fancy a beer?

I was reading some staggering research only the other day about the amount of dudes turning to cosmetic surgery to remove their moobs and I was disgusted at the male species!!!

Not because of the high stats but more because of the fact that dudes would rather go under the knife than sort them out through diet and lifetyle?

MAN THE HELL UP!!!

Another sign that you're turning into a chick!

What's also worrying is that skinny dudes are now starting to get bitch tits, whats all that about?

I fear for the male species I really do!

So how can you sort out your embaressing problem?

Basically, you need to manage your hormones better princess and do the exact opposite to what's currently going on in that "male" body of yours so you need to increase your testosterone levels and decrease your estrogen.

Firstly STOP DRINKING!

Pretty obvious this one but having written this article, I'll STILL be getting emails from dudes asking if its still ok to have a few drinks at the weekend!

Most alcohol is sugar in its simplest form so not only will you be making your tits bigger but you'll also be working on your love handle fat which is directly correlated to your your carb intake. ALL alcoholic beverages are disgustingly high on the glycaemic index which means the body will deal with it just like any other carb thats high in glycaemic load - AND STORE IT AROUND THE LOVE HANDLE AREA!

Oh and by the way, when you drink you PHYSICALLY CANNOT burn bodyfat for 3 days afterwards did you know that? When you drink, the alchol is converted into a substance called acetate and your body will use acetate for fuel instead of fat so the bigger your piss up the more you'll be using acetate for fuel. So all those muppets that think "they'll work off their hangover with a good session" the following morning aren't actually burning fat and won't be for quite some time after!

Not good huh!

Secondly, you need to clean up your diet and supplement with zinc as zinc has been shown to increase testosterone levels. Most guys are deficient in zinc so supplementing with it for a while will help to melt the moobs!

Organic nuts & seeds will also restore natural zinc levels.

Eating fibre like milled flax seed and plenty of cruciferous vegetables (like broccoli, cauliflower, kurly kale, white cabbage & water cress) will help to bind to estrogen and will help with the removal of it via excretion.

Thirdly, start doing intense weight training

Intense weight training will help to jack testosterone levels. Keep the workouts REALLY short (no longer than 30-45 mins but work HARDDD!!!) and steer clear of very long runs as these will increase cortisol levels and LOWER testosterone! EXACTLY what you DON'T want!

And thats it!

Its time to take action guys, man up and start managing your hormones better or I'll soon be asking you out on a date sexy!

Peace out ;-)

Sam

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, thanks for the heads up. I'm 52 and slowly but Shirley I was noticing that my boobs were growing, but had no idea why. I also was drinking 5 a day and eating a middling high fat low fiber diet. It took me awhile to make the connect to alcohol, but now I see it. So I've quit the hootch and am working out again. The hoppy microbrew really struck a chord but yeah I think the estrogen has got the best of me. I hope thru better diet, minimal drinking, and regular excercise I can get my old bod back. Let's hope! This all makes a lot of sense.

Unknown said...

Sam, I can 100% tell you this write up on moobs is correct and here is why: I train 6 days a week ranging from weights-running-boxing and HIIT, my diet was designed for me by a PT at Golds gym who took all my stats to get my food weighing bang on, I have abused alcohol every night drinking vodkas im lean all over except for my tits! i look amazing in a vest but take it off people would probably laugh!! and this is all because of alcohol, I have even done some test to raise my test levels and nothing worked thanks for this eye opening write up its time i put the bottle down!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I can say you are completely right. For a year i was drinking like 8 Beers every night after work and even more on the weekends. Also eating lot of junkfood with it and not getting enough excercise. The result? Beer belly and bitch tits. Gave up drinking alcohol completely i am now 90 days sober. Eating healthier also. Slowly the bitch tits are getting smaller along with belly.

SAfrican said...

What hppens to the excess skin when you lose the moobs?

SAfrican said...

What hppens to the excess skin when you lose the moobs?